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Top 10 Worst Christmas Jumpers

Features | | 11 Comments

The entire Christmas period is an excuse for all things over-the-top and downright gaudy – and nowhere does this ring truer than with festive cult classic: the ugly Christmas jumper. So whether you’re after sheer comedy value or you simply want to offload one onto someone you dislike, we bring you our ten favourite worst Christmas jumpers.

Feast your eyes on the ultimate champion in the ugly festive jumpers Hall of Fame. Tinsel and baubles? Check. Glowing lights? Check. Giant Christmas tree in front of an inexplicably large moon? Check. Seriously, can anything beat this?

 If you like your clothes to tell a story, here’s one for a cosy Christmas morning: this one-legged soldier and the ballerina with no mouth have overcome all the odds to fall in love, thanks to the help of their old friend, the not-drawn-to-scale teddybear.

Perhaps the only thing on par with a questionable Christmas jumper is a questionable kitten jumper. So kill two birds with one stone with this heart-warmingly festive cat scene! No, we’re not sure what the black cat is doing either.

Have you always wanted to dress up as Santa’s favourite little helper? Well your luck is in with this readymade elf costume. If you‘re worried about the make-believe buttons and the fake belt, then never fear – the bells are real!

The St Bernard is the quintessential Christmas dog, due to his association with the snowy Alps and heroic rescues. However, we’re pretty sure the ones we know are brown, not grey with a green nose. And they’d never be caught dead in that hat.

Just in case you need a quick escape from your Christmas-jumpered hell, this fetching number kindly comes with buttons down the front to shave valuable seconds off of its removal time. We’re a bit concerned about the tall-as-a-house reindeer though.

Reminiscent of your nan’s patchwork quilt, if your nan’s patchwork quilt had accidentally fallen into a tub of Christmas whilst covered in glue and then rolled around. To add insult to injury, this one doesn’t even have sleeves to keep you warm – more of a Christmas waistcoat.

We’d be attempting to hide behind a door as well if we had to be seen in that hat. We call this one “The Embarrassed Snowman”.

If you’re a fan of a sartorial nature scene, then this jumper’s just the thing for you. You can’t fail to feel warm and festive when presented with this colourful little snow scene, complete with happy smiley reindeer.

Do you find yourself waking up mid-December and realising you’ve forgetten to open your advent calendar? Why not solve the problem by carrying it around on your body instead? You’ll certainly be a hit in the office. Or let’s face it, everywhere you go.


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